The Roof, late Saturday night

[trigons_child]

Raven had been grateful for Karla's insistence that she stay with her once they returned to the dorms. The thought of being alone again terrified her. But her guilt and sadness made it impossible for her to rest, and since she didn't want to disturb Karla or Gabrielle's sleep, she slipped out of the room to find some place to meditate.

She didn't want to go up to her room; she had no idea what Ariel had been told about her disappearance or return and didn't want to frighten her by suddenly walking into the room. So she retreated to the roof instead. The black nightgown Karla had given her (her own, in fact, which had been left behind after Karla's Virgin Night) would have been little defense against the cold, so she'd taken the white cloak Sebastian had insisted she wear. She didn't like that it was his or that it was stained with Warren's blood, smeared there when she'd hugged Karla, but it was better than freezing.

She was back in Fandom, back home with those she loved, much as the memory of what she'd done to them tormented her. But people had died to bring her back, some willingly, some not. She hadn't asked for that, she never would have asked for that, and now she was scared what the dark magics used to resurrect her body might have done.

Her father was gone, but so was Azarath. Her friends were forgiving, but she could feel the tension beneath their words. Jono was afraid of her -- no, not her. Himself. And she was so weary of being used, by Sebastian, by Trigon, even by Azar.

She didn't know how to begin to make things right. So for now, she huddled in a dark corner of the roof and quietly cried.


[OOC: open! But emo girl is emo. ;) ]
 

Comments

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"What do you want to say?" she asked gently. "We can start there. If you want, I mean. We can also not talk."

[trigons_child]

"I have already said I am sorry," Raven said quietly. She glanced out into the flickering lights of the town below, but the familiar sight wasn't doing much to soothe her inner turmoil. "But it is not enough. It is only words. And what if...what if it happens again? My father is gone, but I am still a demon, and it was dark magic that was used to bring me back. I do not know how this may have affected me. I fear I am still a danger to you all."

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"We all have our demons, Raven," Sookie said softly, reaching out to take her hand. "Yours are just a little more literal, but do you know how many of us are afraid of ourselves? You saw Bobby when he locked himself in the safe room last year, didn't you? And I'm terrified I'm going to get mad and kill someone who tries to help me." She shook her head, trying to dismiss the guilt. "My point is: we brought you back. We tried to save you. If I had to do it all over again a hundred times, I would without thinking about it. That's just how this works. I know you'd do it for me, too."

[trigons_child]

Raven didn't recoil from Sookie's touch. She needed it to feel real and alive and that this wasn't just some sort of dream.

"I would," she said. "For you. For Bobby." For Jono, Karla, Anakin, all of them who had come for her. "And I cannot think you enough for it. I would still be under Sebastian's power if you had not saved me." And destroying the world. Again.

She had a few questions of her own, though, since while she had preyed on Sookie's fears, she didn't quite understand them. "I made your fear real, but that does not mean it will truly happen," she said. "But...I did not understand what it was." The wings, the cackling, the madness....

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"It can't happen," Sookie said quietly, emphatically. "I -- over Christmas, Eric introduced me to a relative of mine. I finally found out who I am, and why my powers work like they do. I'm, um...I'm a fairy. And there's a whole part of me, my heritage, that thrives on anger and high emotion. It's nice having answers, but the scarier I am, the more powerful I am. That's why...the other me was like that."

A pause, and then, "But my relatives don't have wings, so I think that was mostly just my imagination."

[trigons_child]

Raven winced. Way to go, make Sookie afraid of what she was right after she found out about her heritage. "I am sorry," she said for the umpteenth time.

Though in that way Sookie wasn't that much different from herself. "Many people have their powers tied to their emotions, and I am no exception," she said. "You have seen what happens when I become too angry. It is a matter of retaining control of that anger."

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

Sookie nodded in understanding. "My cousin's been working with me a little, too, to try and channel that anger into something more productive. But it's going to take some work. It's mostly just nice knowing what I am. Who I am, rather." She paused, and added, "And I know that you meditate, and that seems to help? So maybe I could take that up, too."

[trigons_child]

"It helps me a great deal," Raven said, nodding. "To purge myself of negative emotions and rebuild my shielding."

She lightly brushed her fingertips against her chakra. "This aids me as well. I am lost without it. I truly owe you my thanks for restoring it to me."

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"It's so gross that he ate it," Sookie said, because it really was.

[trigons_child]

It was.

"He bit it off my forehead after my attempt to escape," Raven said solemnly. "Without it I could not focus my gifts enough to try again. I am glad to be free of that horrid boy, though I wish I had not been married to him." As if it were remotely legal.

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"Also gross," Sookie said, "but I'm pretty sure it's not legally binding. I know a decent lawyer if you wanna make sure it gets annulled, though. He tried to scare me with his fangs, too. Clearly not a member of the Sookie Stackhouse Fan Club, or he'd have already gotten the newsletter on how that doesn't work."

[trigons_child]

"I did not say 'I do,' if that matters," Raven said. Though she probably would have if Sebastian had told her to.

She had to smile at what Sookie said. "He had no idea about your experience with vampires," she said. "Though he is not quite the same as the ones from your world. When he drinks blood, he gains the powers of the person whose blood he consumes." She absently rubbed the side of her neck. That so hadn't helped her Vampire Issues.

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"...I'm so glad it doesn't work like that with my vampires," Sookie said, making a face. "Four different vampires have had my blood, and none of them are people I want with access to telepathy. Ever."

[trigons_child]

"Even if he did, he is gone now," Raven said. "Permanently, I hope. He has been to Fandom before and tried to take me away, but my Soul-Self sent him and his followers far away."

Her cold fury at being so controlled and used had startled her, but at least she hadn't lost control and let her demon side manifest. She'd merely taken care of the problem and then brought them all home.

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"Good. Because they were all super-creepy," Sookie said, shaking her head. "And no one's taking you away again for a long, long time. I'm pretty sure we've made sure of that."

[trigons_child]

"I hope to never have to go somewhere against my will ever again," Raven said. She couldn't say "never leave Fandom" because part of her still wanted to flee. She couldn't admit that, though; she knew she'd be scolded.

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, it's not really any fun," Sookie agreed, slanting a look at her. "I mean, on the bright side, no one had to dress like a skank to get you back."

Though Evil Fairy Sookie's outfit could have been a little classier, she thought.

[trigons_child]

That actually got a small exhale of breath that could almost be a laugh out of Raven. "That is one fortunate thing, at least," she said. She lifted one cloak-wrapped arm. "Though I am not fond of white."