Jono's Apartment above the Boards, Sunday evening

[trigons_child]

When the auditions seemed to be winding down, Raven went to Il Pollo to fetch some Italian take out. She dropped off Troy's portion with him, then headed upstairs with her and Jono's food to wait. She happily passed the time playing with Joni.

She hadn't brought his belongings yet; she was just going to just teleport back to her room to get it all when she was ready to surprise him. Of course she had no idea someone had spoiled the surprise, KARLA.

Comments

[furnaceface]

"I wouldn't mind," Jono murmured, his eyes still turned down toward the tabletop. "I suppose this means I'll need to start collecting comic books again, though."

This wasn't a complaint, really. It was more like a sad attempt at idle chatter that was falling a bit short.

"Raven, I..." He looked up for a moment, just long enough to see how hard this conversation was hitting her, and then he looked down again, feeling a little more sick and ashamed for resisting so hard. "... Thank you. For getting my things. I didn't think I was going to see any of it again."

[trigons_child]

"I knew how important some of these things were to you," Raven said, managing a little smile. She'd felt it when they'd talked about it before. She didn't know the meaning of all the items, aside from ones like the crown, but she could sense their value to him.

"It was within my power to restore them to you, and I am glad you are pleased," she said. She nodded toward the box. "I think most of your personal items should be in there I will bring your music by later. Karla accompanied me, so you should thank her as well."


[I must sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!]

[furnaceface]

He nodded a little. He already had, of course, but he'd probably do so again once he went through the box and found some of the items that were especially close to his heart.

"I'll be sure to," he replied, softly. "Credit where credit is due, and all that? I'll admit, I'm impressed you two managed to get all of this without incident, really."

[Niiiight!]

[trigons_child]

"Leech was our guide," Raven said, fondness in her voice. "He took us inside and led us to the storage area. We did not see any of the X-Men; they all seemed to be elsewhere at the time."

Which was likely fortunate. Even with Leech there, if they'd run into one of them, she might have lost her temper and told them exactly how they were terrible people for abandoning Jono and not calling her when he was hurt and how they didn't deserve him.

And then Karla would've blown up the mansion.

[furnaceface]

"Meaning there was nobody there for Karla to yell at," Jono reasoned. "I don't think that would have been received well, surrounded by Sentinels, not long after we..." A flinch. A hiss of air through his teeth. "After they found their numbers cut down to nothing."

Jono found himself wondering if 198 was an official count, or if it was an estimation based on just those mutants who had been willing to show their faces after the decimation. If he knew humanity at all, they'd probably be out there with weapons, looking to be rid of the rest now that some bigger force had done most of the dirty work for them. Hell, there were over three-thousand tigers left in the wild and they were considered a critically endangered species.

You couldn't sustain a healthy population on less than two hundred.

They couldn't.

[trigons_child]

Raven was quiet for a moment, watching him, trying to decide what to say or do. Her heart said one thing, Karla cautioned another.

Finally she ventured softly, "May I give you something? Something Leech would wish to give to you?" He was shying away from hugs from her, but he couldn't refuse one from Leech, could he? His powers were gone but hers still worked the same, and she could share with him the memory of the little boy's hug.

[furnaceface]

Jonothon glanced up at her, not entirely certain what sort of something Leech would have to give to him, but not really just out and voicing as much, either.

He sounded only vaguely tentative when he said, "Of course."

[trigons_child]

"Close your eyes," she requested.

She couldn't project the image like Karla could -- he'd have to be sleeping for that -- but she could surround him with a gentle pulse of affection and relief and gratitude and most of all hope, and with it her own wish that he could find that hope as well.

"A hug," she said as she sent the feelings. "To know that you are missed and cared for, and that he is glad you are here and safe."

[furnaceface]

Jono nearly flinched, there with his eyes closed, as he felt those emotions wash over him. Almost shied away, though easing back wouldn't have let him hide from the empathic embrace of a little boy, courtesy of Raven's powers.

Hope was... such a fleeting thing these days, that he almost didn't recognize it at first. Relief and gratitude he knew well enough. He'd felt both so much already just today, learning that Leech was well. Another heartbeat later, he let himself relax, chewing his bottom lip and slumping forward a little. He was not going to tear up. Lord help him, he wasn't.

"I'm sorry I can't return it," he murmured, swallowing at a lump in his throat.

[trigons_child]

"I know," Raven said with a sad little smile. "But perhaps some day soon, when he is able to visit." When, not if. Somehow she'd arrange it, somehow.

"Karla and I promised him ice cream," she added. "We wished to linger there with him, but we thought it best we returned soon." Before some random X-Men caught them there. And to better find out what was going on with people disappearing.

[furnaceface]

Jonothon sighed, and nodded, and wrapped his arms around himself lightly as he opened his eyes and did some more knee-gazing.

"I can't imagine they would have been upset to see either of you there. You did a lot of good for them back when the Church of Humanity tried to make an example of those people."

Jubilee. Angelo. Really, if it wasn't for Karla trying to breathe fire on everybody there because of Annie and her big mouth, they'd probably have gotten an invitation to visit whenever they pleased.

[trigons_child]

Raven shrugged. "That is true," she said. "But I feared my own anger. I thought it easier to avoid triggering it."

Yeah, it probably wouldn't go over well if she got worked up enough to have glowing red eyes. Four of them.

There was also the matter of her teleporting being slightly off, but she didn't want to worry him with that. Perhaps she would go see Dana or someone at the clinic just to make certain there was nothing wrong that she couldn't detect.

[furnaceface]

"... Fair enough," Jono allowed, softly. "Though I think in the wake of M-Day, they've probably all already done enough to make up for any... Any whatever. I'd rather just let it go, Raven."

He'd yelled at Captain Britain, for Christ's sake. He was pretty certain that the X-Men had gotten the memo that Jono was less than pleased with them.

[trigons_child]

"Of course," Raven said, nodding. "I do not intend to seek them out, and even if I did, I would respect your wishes in the matter."

She cast her gaze around, searching for a topic to break any awkward silence. "Do you wish some privacy to go through your belongings?" she asked, looking at the box. "Or...I can stay, if you wish."

[furnaceface]

"My...?" He looked down at the box again.

Right. That was there. And he didn't know that he'd be able to go through it without just losing all dignity and breaking down, or... or wallowing, remembering what life was like before the whole Weapon X mess, or any one of a hundred other things that might result in another 'stop that.'

"I'll... get to it," he said, after another moment of silence. "It's not going anywhere, right now."

He bit his lip a little, and then attempted to look up again.

"It isn't just you," he said, finally. "That I've been... sitting back from. I mean. I... I don't care for you any less, Raven. I don't. And if you feel as though I'm alienating you or... or something... again..."

He wasn't sure where he was going with this, no.

"... Tell me?"

[trigons_child]

"I am doing my best to be understanding," Raven said, fussing with her skirt to keep her hands busy. "Though Karla says I should not be. I do not think I can do that well, however. I worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. I do not wish to hurt you more than you already have been."

She looked up, fighting tears but not trying to hide them now. "I want to hold you and make certain you know you are loved and cherished. I want to tell you that no matter what has happened, somehow everything will be all right now. I want to see you smile like you did when I brought you Joni. I want to be whatever you need."

[furnaceface]

Jono didn't even bother to hide the confusion as it flitted over his face when Raven said that Karla had told her to... not be understanding? That almost had to be some sort of miscommunication between the two of them, though he didn't bother saying as much. He could only speculate as to what in the world these two spoke about when he wasn't around.

They spoke about him, apparently.

"I'm not fragile, Raven," he said instead, in spite of the fact that he could practically feel the cracks tracing through him, held together by willpower and stubbornness and not much else. "You aren't going to break me by caring, luv."

He took a deep breath, and then stood and held out his hand to her.

"The worst of what's eating at me isn't going to go away just because of some reassuring words, or because people tell me that I shouldn't let it eat at me, or because it wasn't my fault. I've been chewed up, spat out, used as a weapon and made into a pawn and they made my hands hurt more innocent people than I could hope to count. There's an estimated two hundred mutants in the world where once there were millions. For all that I hated what my powers did to my body, I feel deaf and blind and empty without them, and the body that I have now is... it's wrong. In so many ways. Everything is not okay. But I don't want to be coddled, either. I can't. I can't handle that. It's like telling me that I'm enough of a lost cause that I actually need to be."

[trigons_child]

Raven looked at his hand for a moment, then placed hers in his, rising to her feet.

"I know," she said. She still struggled with her own guilt, though she was more prone to clinging than putting a distance between herself and others. More than once after Sebastian had resurrected her she'd considered running away, but she'd feared causing more pain.

"I just feel so helpless, and I hate that. I want to help you so much."

[furnaceface]

There was a bit of a dryness in Jono's mouth at that, and he found himself struggling in an attempt to find the right words. But he'd... He'd already said them, really. Things weren't okay, and she couldn't just make it all better, and he wasn't certain that he knew where to start even if he wanted to let her try.

So he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. More for her sake than for his own, true, but... making her feel small and helpless because he was hurting didn't help anything, either.

[trigons_child]

Raven sagged against him, too tired to be able to hold back a choked sob. She pressed her face against his chest, shaking as she started to cry. He wouldn't let himself do so, but she couldn't help it now. She'd been holding too much in for too long.

It took a few long minutes to pull herself together, but when she finally regained her composure, she drew away. "I am sorry," she said. "I did not mean to do that."

[furnaceface]

He let her cry it all out, not letting go, not giving any sort of indication that he might have wanted to.

"You needed it," he offered, softly, reaching forward to tuck a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. "I don't mind, Raven."

Especially since he suspected that so many of those tears were his own damn fault.

[trigons_child]

Her tears were for him, but not necessary because of him. Everything he'd been through was making her heart break.

"I am overtired," she said, still apologizing. "It has made me more emotional than usual." She sniffled and tried to find a smile, just a small one. "It is strange how I have gone from having no emotions to having too many."

[furnaceface]

"No such thing as too many, luv."

It was true. And he'd stand and fight tooth and claw to hold that opinion, if need be. Just because he repressed didn't mean he expected that everyone else absolutely had to.

"You should get some rest, though. Especially if you haven't been feeling well this week. I worry about you when you're under the weather, you know."

Which was completely different from him not sleeping. Honest.

[trigons_child]

"I do not get sick," Raven insisted. "My Soul-Self protects me. I think perhaps it is just stress."

She had to wince at that, remembering how she used to dismiss the effect her father was having upon her as the same thing. "It is not my father nor my brothers," she hastily assured him. "I do not sense their influence at all. I would tell you if I did."

[furnaceface]

Jono's jaw clenched minutely and his breath caught regardless of the quick correction.

"Have you been to the clinic since this started, at least? Or had another healer give you a looking over? You don't get sick, Raven. That's why I'm worried."