Somewhere Betwixt Life and Death.....

[trigons_child]

Two days before, Raven's soul had been ripped from her body and replaced with her father's essence. Hours ago, her physical body had been killed, and not long after that, it had been consumed by the power that had destroyed her father. Now all that was left was her spirit, purified and free.

Just as she was aware of what both her physical body and her Soul-Self experienced when she separated them, she knew fully well what she'd done to her friends, and her heart broke from the guilt and grief. She was confused now, unsure of where to go or what to do. Azar had never prepared her for this.

[NFB. For that goth chick! Warning for sensitive subject matter, namely character kinda-sorta death.]

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[living_endless]

Death sighed, and Didi was looking through her eyes. "Look, if we have to talk about that, it's not like it was the shocker of all time that you wanted him, and staying away because it made you feel bad wouldn't help anybody. I don't hate you. But I'm always flattered to be missed."

[trigons_child]

"He still loves you," Raven said quietly. "I do love him, but he does not love me." And probably never would now after what she'd done to him.

She shrugged a little, feeling shy and awkward. She was, after all, still just a teenage girl, talking to her boyfriend's former girlfriend, part of her at least. "I know Didi is gone, but I thought you should know that. I could never replace you in his heart, nor have I tried. I have wished for his love, yes, but never at the cost of his memories of you. Those are precious."

[living_endless]

"I wish he did love you," Death answered, rather firmly shutting off Didi's pettiness. "Love is an amazing thing. He should have it in his life. He has another couple decades to go. Remembering a girl he knew in high school ... it's not going to do him much good."

She reached for Raven's hand. "See? That's why you have to get back. So you can remind him people care."

[trigons_child]

"Perhaps some day, if I go back," Raven said, but she didn't sound terribly convinced of that now. She still wasn't sure what she should do, or even what to do if she decided she wanted to go back.

She squeezed Death's hand and forced a small smile. "He should have it. He deserves it. But I must disagree that remembering you will do him no good. You made him very happy, and he should never forget that. Never."

[living_endless]

Death was going to indulge in a slight, fleeting feeling of victory at getting Raven to smile, even if she could tell the girl's heart wasn't in it.

"If he does," she said, "if it gets to be a far-away thing he doesn't think about ... it would only be human."

"But," she added as she rose to her feet, "this is pretty far from why I came to find you, isn't it?"

[trigons_child]

Raven was a master at changing the subject.

"I still do not know what to do," she said. "I think I want to go back, but I do not know how. And I am afraid." Of being hurt, of being rejected, of facing what she'd done, pick one.

[living_endless]

"I think that when the time comes, you'll just know," Death answered. "I can't tell you not to be afraid. I would be afraid. But ... it'll come together. Just wait."

[trigons_child]

"Thank you," Raven murmured. "It is good to have hope." Even if she still didn't think she deserved it. She didn't want to be dead -- no offense to her current visitor -- but better that than alive and hurting those she loved.

"Do you know how long?" she had to ask.

[living_endless]

"More than an hour," Death answered. "Less than a hundred years."

She fluffed out her hair. "I'm not just being a brat, Raven. The Endless aren't oracles. Does it matter? I don't think time here is exactly the same as time on Earth, anyhow."

[trigons_child]

"I suspect not," Raven said, nodding. "I just do not want to forget." Or have them forget her.

"Though forgetting some of it is tempting," she had to admit.

[living_endless]

"Yeah, I see why you wouldn't want it all in your head," Death said lightly, thoughtfully. "I don't think you'll forget, though. Not entirely, anyhow."

[trigons_child]

"What do I do until then?" Raven said, biting at her lip. "Just....be?"

Rehearse her apologies. Dream of forgiveness. Pray to Azar they didn't hate her.

[living_endless]

"Being sounds like a plan," Death agreed. "Rest. Meditate. There aren't exactly going to be a lot of distractions."

[trigons_child]

"It does feel very peaceful here," Raven said. Wherever here was. "I cannot hear my father anymore; he is gone now. And I do not feel any pain." She could definitely get used to both of those. A moment of pain when she healed someone was of little concern to her, but her recent inability to purge it had weakened her to her father's will.

[living_endless]

"That;s good," Death encouraged. "That's what you need. I ... can come check on you again, maybe. If you want."

She hadn't meant to make that offer, but what she had to give was friendship, and she was willing to pass it along.

[trigons_child]

"I would not mind that," Raven said with a more genuine smile now. "In Azarath I was accustomed to being alone most of the time, but since I have come to Fandom I have enjoyed having friends around me, and I do not wish to be lonely."