trigons_child | The Keep, Ebon Askavi, Kaeleer, Friday Fandom time

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The Keep, Ebon Askavi, Kaeleer, Friday Fandom time

Raven had been at the Keep for about a month now, and she mostly kept to herself, reading or meditating in the rooms that had been given to her. Mostly it was Philia's needs that would draw her outside, but only for a short time.

And she may very well have been getting her brood on in a serious way.

She felt like herself, mostly, but then again, she hadn't realized it when her brothers had infected her with their power. Wrath, Lust, Envy -- it was all so easy to see how each had affected her now, but in the moment it had felt so natural to her. Her brothers had been cunning enough to merely amplify her own emotions rather than force them upon her. That she surely would've felt, but not the more subtle nudge to her own true anger, lust, or jealousy.

Her skin wasn't crawling as much as it had been when she'd realized what had been going on, but she still felt uncertain, disgusted and displeased with herself for allowing it to happen. She'd endangered the people she cared for most. How did she make up for that? And how did she prevent it from happening again?

[For them that are coming to visit, and for great slowplay.]

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Hannibal left Karla to speak with Jaenelle and headed for Raven's room. He nodded at the servant who'd showed him the way, then straightened his vest and knocked politely.

"You may enter," Raven said, curled in a chair with a book in her lap and Philia at her feet. She wasn't expecting anyone, so she thought it was one of the staff coming to see if she wanted to eat.

Hannibal opened the door and took the moment before she would notice him to scrutinize her and see how she was doing.

Her head was down, her eyes on the book in her lap, but she wasn't really reading it. Her thoughts were elsewhere, filled with worry and guilt and shame, and her body language, the slump of her shoulders, showed it. She'd also lost a little weight during the month here due to a lack of appetite.

Philia lifted her head and wuffed in greeting when she recognized Hannibal. Raven looked up, and a smile spread across her face. "Doctor Lecter," she said, setting the book aside and rising to her feet. "It is good to see you. Please, come in."

"Raven," Hannibal greeted her. He smiled in return and reached for her hands. "I apologize for not speaking to you sooner; our phones weren't working on our vacation. How have you been?"

Raven squeezed his hands warmly, grateful for a familiar face. "I have not been entirely well," she said quietly. "I do not know how much Karla told you, but it appears that I have been infected by my brothers' powers for quite some time. I think I am free of their influence now. I hope I am."

She gestured to the chairs in her room. "Please, sit down. How have you been? How was your trip?"

Hannibal sat. "I have been well. The trip was warm, which was very nice, and in the 1970s, which was less so." He gave her a small, mischievous smile. "Karla and I were terrible influences, and brought some of the children along for a midnight raid of the kitchens."

Raven smiled a little as she sat. "I am saddened I was not there to see it," she said. "I take it the food there was not to your liking?"

She paused for a moment, and Philia took the opportunity to pad over to Hannibal with a hopeful look. Treats had gone a long way toward earning the dog's trust.

"How is Jonothon?" Raven asked hesitantly.

"The food was...occasionally acceptable, more often regrettable," Hannibal said. He smiled at Philia and pulled a bit of jerky from his pocket. Yes, he had known who he was visiting, and what the toll would be.

"He enjoyed the trip very much, I think. It was relaxing overall. And we went diving at one of the stops, and it was beautiful." No, that hadn't precisely answered the question, but bringing up their relationship seemed in poor taste, and the particulars of Jono's well-being were for him to tell.

Philia took the jerky from Hannibal's hand and sat on the floor between them as she started to chew at it. Yes, Hannibal had Philia's seal of approval.

"Good," Raven murmured. "I am very glad to hear that."

She glanced across the room to a small desk, where a few sheets of paper lay. "I was trying to write him a letter...would you mind delivering it to him for me?"

"I will bring it to him," Hannibal said. "But if he doesn't wish to take it, I won't press him. Is that acceptable?"

"Do you think he would not?" Raven asked, feeling a pang in her chest. "I wanted to apologize to him. I have not been myself for quite some time."

"I know." Hannibal reached for her hand. "I think it likely he will want to read it, but I won't promise anything for him."

Raven ducked her head as she let him take her hand. "I owe you an apology as well," she said. "I am usually not so...bold."

Her cheeks were pink now, and she hoped he'd understand what she meant without her having to explain it in more detail.

Hannibal nodded. "I appreciate that, but I was a willing participant. I am more concerned that you were not. Do you regret what happened?"

"No, no, it was not something I did not want," Raven said quickly. "The desire was true, but I had not thought it appropriate to express it. What my brothers did was powerful, yet subtle. They amplified my own emotions. They did not force new ones upon me, for I am certain I would have sensed that. I am not certain just how long this was going on."

She shivered a little. She still felt sick and ashamed she'd been used in such a way, and worried that somehow it could happen again.

"However long it has been, Karla will see that it does not continue," Hannibal assured her. "She and Jaenelle are speaking now. I have no doubt that she will do whatever it may take to keep you safe. She cares for you a great deal."

"It should not have happened in the first place," Raven said, voice tight as she struggled to hold in her pain and fear. "I should have realized what was happening. Yet my brothers used me like a puppet. Envy, Lust, Wrath...my emotions have been a toy for them. I have hurt those I love. And I killed with no remorse. I even enjoyed it."

"You killed those who would harm Karla. Should you have felt remorse?" Hannibal asked gently.

"You know how I was raised," Raven said. "And though I have abandoned the ways of Azarath and come to learn that violence is sometimes necessary...look what I have become. To murder without thought of consequence, and to take pride in it? I endangered Karla, I endangered children, I created so much more work for Jono. I am supposed to be a healer!"

"So am I," Hannibal answered. "So is Karla. And Jaenelle, too. Do you judge any of us for doing what needs to be done?"

"No, not when it needs to be done," Raven said, shaking her head. She didn't judge Jaenelle for Agio. She'd killed so many, but she'd also saved lives, including Raven's own.

"But you are not like me -- with dangerous urges and hungers to color your judgement," she said. "I enjoyed making those who ran the Hintergrove Orphanage suffer. I told you, my brothers did not create emotions within me. They worked with what was already there. And so I endangered more children. The fate of those who may have been found and rescued is now my fault."

Hannibal smiled. "Every person has urges and hungers, and every one may be dangerous from time to time. You saved the children that were there. The others - I informed the authorities anonymously. They did nothing. Is their fate now my fault for not choosing a more direct method?"

"Were you or they able to find more information about where other children might be?" Raven asked hopefully. "Jono said...if there were more children out there, I had made it harder to find them. Or the ones who would hurt them. I did not even consider that at the time. There was only my Wrath. And then...and then Lust."

"I believe Jono has found some of them, yes. You likely did make it more difficult, but it's in the past. All you can do is make what amends you can and do your best not to let it happen again."

The Keep, Ebon Askavi, Kaeleer, Friday Fandom time

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