Part of her wanted to scream that she never had a choice about anything, an unconscious parallel of her mother's own words after she'd died. She didn't have a choice about what she was or how she was raised or becoming a slave to her father or dying, but it would be a lie to say she never had a choice. She'd chosen to embrace her emotions, and while she'd never decided to love Jono or Karla or any of her friends, she had chosen to act upon it.

Choosing to live right now, however, wasn't something she wanted to do.

"I cannot," she said pathetically, wrapping her arms around herself. "I cannot go back. They are better off without me now." She didn't entirely believe that, either; that was her own fear and insecurity talking.