trigons_child | Room 509, Wednesday

Current Mood: sad

Entry tags:

Room 509, Wednesday

After Raven had returned everyone to Fandom (and Sam to New York and Anakin to Rory and Juliet), she just wanted to retreat to her room to grieve. She was moving like a zombie, barely speaking, still almost entirely numb to what had happened. Her father had been forced back into his own dimension, but her mother was gone forever now in order to hold him there. She'd never been allowed to mourn for Azar when her teacher had died, and for a fleeting moment she wished it were the same for Arella so she wouldn't feel this awful pain.

Of course she hadn't been allowed to remain alone, though she refused all offers of food or drink with a silent shake of her head. She just sat on the floor, leaning against her bed, her heart aching.

[OOC: for anyone who stayed with her or anyone who comes by later. I'm around for an hour then off to the airport, but I will check in from there (because that's how I roll) and once I get home. Warning: emo girl is emo, but you know that. ;) ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"You were not supposed to come after me," Raven said, though not ungratefully. She accepted the hug, though, and tried not to start crying again. She wasn't sure she had any tears left.

"Only in your mind. Not in anyone else's," Dinah said, voice soft as she hugged Raven carefully. "None of this, by the way? Is your fault. Just in case you wondered." Hopefully she hadn't been thinking that at all.

"How is it not my fault?" Raven said, voice quiet. "I brought you all into danger. You were harmed because of me. And my mother sacrificed herself to save me."

"Correction. You invited us into something that we knew might be a risk. You didn't compel us, no matter what that idiot Zatanna said." Dinah stroked her hair. "We were harmed because of -- in order-- the dumbest version of the JLA ever, mindless minions of your dad, and your dad, who's been evil for how long? C'mon." She hugged Raven tighter, then said more softly, "And I know how that feels. It sucks that your mom's gone. I wish I knew what to say to make it better."

"Joan said it will not always hurt this much," Raven said, blinking back tears. "But it is hard to believe that right now. But I think it helps to be back here in Fandom with my friends, and away from...that place."

"Yeah," Dinah said quietly, not having anything good to say about Azarath, the people there, or the in-between place that Raven had been taken to. "Do you want to talk about what happened there?" she said tentatively. "Or not? It's your call."

"About what happened when my father took me?" Raven said dully, staring down at the floor. "The pain and misery there overwhelmed me. And then my father destroyed an entire world right before my eyes and I felt it all."

"Oh, God, Raven." Dinah tamped down on her own horror to send as much love as she could to the other girl, getting Raven's wish to take away bad feelings a lot better than usual. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I wish we hadn't let him take you at all."

Raven shook her head. "You had no choice in that," she said. "That was my decision. Please, do not blame yourself for that at all." It'd been a bad decision, but it had seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

Anakin was really going to yell at her the next time she saw him, wasn't he?

Really a lot, yeah.

"I know. And ... you bought us time to come up with a plan, and make it work." She sighed, stroking Raven's hair again. "I don't want to downplay that. You were incredibly brave. I don't know that I could have done that." She smiled at Raven, then saddened. "I wish we'd been able to help stop him some other way."

"He is trapped now, but not destroyed," Raven said, leaning her head against Dinah's shoulder. "He will find a way to return, I fear. It is just a matter of when."

"But maybe not for a long time. And you'll be even more ready for him." Dinah leaned against Raven too, holding her steadily. "You were great this time. He doesn't have a chance. Because I have to say, your dad? Not the universe's sharpest tack, is he?"

"He is consumed by his lust for power and death," Raven agreed, unable to suppress a shudder at the memories of Xythia's destruction and the pain and misery of the people on Quasa. "It may blind him to more subtle plots against him."

"He's a gigantic toddler, right down to the diaper," Dinah said bluntly. "He's too use to crushing everything that gets in his way. He can't think long-term, or he would have guessed what we were going to try." She hugged Raven closer. "Which doesn't make him less 'the Terrible' but doesn't making him omnipotent, or omniscient." She raised her head to look at Raven directly. "If there is a next time, we'll still be with you. Stopping him."

"I cannot ask you to risk your lives like that again," Raven protested, shaking her head. No one had been seriously harmed this time, but if they had, she wouldn't be able to live with herself.

"Amazingly? Not going to stop us." Dinah shook her head, then smiled at Raven. "Even though I'm going to decline the honor of being your next stepmommy. Karla saw him first."

Raven managed a tiny smile despite herself. "Somehow I think Karla may be willing to defer to you in that case," she said, then grimaced again. "I am sorry you drew his attention in that way. I am his only surviving child, but that has not stopped him from trying to create more."

"We'll fight it out the next time we have to." Dinah sounded entirely philosophical about that. "And seriously. I think anything female draws his attention that way. You've got nothing to apologize for, you're nothing like him."

Well. Aside from thinking Karla was cute, apparently.

But Karla had kissed her, not her father. Win!

"He is able to alter his form to make himself more pleasing," Raven said. "As he did with my mother. Karla has seen him in that way, but he should not be able to manifest outside the netherverse in any form for some time."

Dinah would so throw rose petals at their wedding. If they had one!

"Good," Dinah said firmly. "And pleasing is fine, but he's got the personality of a warthog. Cuteness won't help." She bit her lip, trying not to think of Arella. "Is there anything I can do now? I mean. I know there isn't. But is there anything, anything at all that will help even a little?"

"Being here has helped, I think," Raven said. She could leech love and comfort from those around her to try to keep the pain at bay. "I do not know how to grieve. When Azar died I was not allowed to feel. And now I am not certain how to deal with these feelings."

"Good." Or at least, better than it was. "...and wow, I'm probably not the person to ask. I go beat up bad guys when I'm upset. That's my plan for Thursday or Friday night." She grimaced. "That's what I did after my mom died. And after Jak broke up with me. At least it keeps crime down." She bit her lip. "Just-- feel what you feel. Don't try to grieve according to a book. Everyone does it differently."

"Please do not hurt yourself," Raven said, instantly zeroing in on Dinah's admission that she was going to fight. "But if you do I will heal you. But I would rather not see you in pain."

"I won't get hurt," Dinah promised her. "I'll be careful, and have back-up." She hugged Raven one-armed, and said, "But I promise to come find you if I do get hurt, okay?" She brushed Raven's hair out of her face. "That's one way of dealing, you know. Doing what you can. Healing what needs it."

"That is something I am always willing to do," Raven said. It wasn't avoidance at all to focus on other's pain instead of her own, despite what the stupid baggage had said.

(no subject)

blondecanary.livejournal.com - 2010-07-09 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only