trigons_child: (Hiding face)
As Fandom shifted back to normal, Raven had been preparing herself to leave the island and find her father's realm and join him, as had been written in her destiny. Umbridge and her spells had just delayed it, but she knew her path.

Then she was herself again, and the girl she was was suddenly flooded with the memories of the monster she'd been. Tormenting people, toying with their emotions, torturing her friends, people she loved, taking so much pleasure in their suffering. Murdering a girl she didn't even know...and killing Sookie.

"That is not what I am!" she screamed, staggering from the horror of it all. "That is not who I am!"

She started to run, not even knowing where she was going until she teleported herself to the top of Selkie Peak, as far as she could get from people without actually leaving the island, though that instinct was strong as well. She had no idea what to do now. She just knew she couldn't face anyone.


[ooc: open, but emo girl is waaaaaaaaaaaay emo.]
trigons_child: (Comic Scan: Hugging Pillow)
Tension and unease kept Raven awake in Glacia; though she managed to quell her fears that Karla or Warren would try to kill her, since she hoped in their hearts they could recognize she was not the same as her future self in this world, she was still afraid one of Karla's court might take it upon him or herself to rid their Queen of the potential threat. She stayed to her room and watched the skies outside her window, waiting for signs of dawn, heralding what she prayed was a return to Fandom, but she was so drained that she finally fell into a troubled sleep in the early hours of the morning.

While she slept, Fandom pulled her back home, and as consciousness gradually returned, she realized she was right where she'd gone to sleep Friday night, in Jono's hotel room. Her initial surge of relief to be back was quickly chased away by the memories of that awful place, and she rolled on to her side, pressing her face into a pillow to try to muffle her tears.

Snipped for preplay. )

[Preplayed with the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] furnaceface and coded using [livejournal.com profile] whateverknight's spiffy coder.]
 
trigons_child: (Default)
Tension and unease kept Raven awake in Glacia; though she managed to quell her fears that Karla or Warren would try to kill her, since she hoped in their hearts they could recognize she was not the same as her future self in this world, she was still afraid one of Karla's court might take it upon him or herself to rid their Queen of the potential threat. She stayed to her room and watched the skies outside her window, waiting for signs of dawn, heralding what she prayed was a return to Fandom, but she was so drained that she finally fell into a troubled sleep in the early hours of the morning.

While she slept, Fandom pulled her back home, and as consciousness gradually returned, she realized she was right where she'd gone to sleep Friday night, in Jono's hotel room. Her initial surge of relief to be back was quickly chased away by the memories of that awful place, and she rolled on to her side, pressing her face into a pillow to try to muffle her tears.

Snipped for preplay. )

[Preplayed with the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] furnaceface and coded using [livejournal.com profile] whateverknight's spiffy coder.]
 
trigons_child: (Comic Scan: Hugging Pillow)
Raven had felt Jono's presence vanish from the island yesterday, but she wasn't terribly concerned about it at first, since surely he would return soon. Until hours passed and a quick trip down to his room had confirmed the truth she had to accept: he'd left without saying goodbye.

She'd been dreading that moment, and that just made it all the worse. He was gone, and he hadn't told her or come to see her first. She felt hurt and sad and couldn't understand why he could have done such a thing, especially when she'd wanted his last night on the island to be special. The glimpses of possible futures they'd had made her scared that he'd be hurt away from the island or simply disappear, and leaving without seeing her first wasn't helping, Jono.

Karla was gone, too, she sensed, so she couldn't go cry on her shoulder, about that and Triela and people leaving, and she was just going to huddle on her bed now and try not to cry, but she wasn't doing a very good job of it.

[Open, but emo demon is emoooooooooo. ;) ]
 
trigons_child: (Default)
Raven had felt Jono's presence vanish from the island yesterday, but she wasn't terribly concerned about it at first, since surely he would return soon. Until hours passed and a quick trip down to his room had confirmed the truth she had to accept: he'd left without saying goodbye.

She'd been dreading that moment, and that just made it all the worse. He was gone, and he hadn't told her or come to see her first. She felt hurt and sad and couldn't understand why he could have done such a thing, especially when she'd wanted his last night on the island to be special. The glimpses of possible futures they'd had made her scared that he'd be hurt away from the island or simply disappear, and leaving without seeing her first wasn't helping, Jono.

Karla was gone, too, she sensed, so she couldn't go cry on her shoulder, about that and Triela and people leaving, and she was just going to huddle on her bed now and try not to cry, but she wasn't doing a very good job of it.

[Open, but emo demon is emoooooooooo. ;) ]
 
trigons_child: (Brooding B&W)
Raven huddled on a rocky spire in the netherverse, head bowed as she fought for control of herself. The skies were an angry red and purple instead of black now, and lightning streaked across them. Her behavior in Special Collections the day before sickened her, as did her reaction when Jono had touched her in the library. Trigon's whispers were becoming stronger and stronger, and it was all she could do to resist the pull of his evil. She'd retreated within herself to try to find some peace and regain control before she hurt someone. It pained her that she could do nothing more to aid in finding Karla and the others, but right now she was more of a hindrance than a help.

"Why have you done this to me, Azar?" she whispered. "Surely before you perished you had to know the suffering I would endure. You had to know the changes that would befall me. I feel hate now. Azar, I feel the urge to kill! You taught me that pacifism was strength, not weakness. But you were wrong, Azar -- wrong! I feel my father's evil growing within me and I am frightened by my new thoughts. Thoughts of death! Thoughts of decay! Thoughts of power! And I am frightened by these thoughts not because I have them...but because I relish them!"

She couldn't hold back her tears anymore. "Help me, Azar," she begged. "I desperately wish to stand beside my friends at their moment of need, yet because of what I am becoming, I cannot. Give me comfort, Azar, or damn me to hell. I cannot abide what I have become!

Silence was her only answer, aside from the rumble of thunder. Or was that her father's laughter? She kept trying, however. She was going to remain here for quite some time until she felt in control of herself enough to return to Fandom.


[ooc: NFB, NFI, warnings for melodramtic canon. I tone it down, people. I TONE IT DOWN.]
trigons_child: (Default)
Raven huddled on a rocky spire in the netherverse, head bowed as she fought for control of herself. The skies were an angry red and purple instead of black now, and lightning streaked across them. Her behavior in Special Collections the day before sickened her, as did her reaction when Jono had touched her in the library. Trigon's whispers were becoming stronger and stronger, and it was all she could do to resist the pull of his evil. She'd retreated within herself to try to find some peace and regain control before she hurt someone. It pained her that she could do nothing more to aid in finding Karla and the others, but right now she was more of a hindrance than a help.

"Why have you done this to me, Azar?" she whispered. "Surely before you perished you had to know the suffering I would endure. You had to know the changes that would befall me. I feel hate now. Azar, I feel the urge to kill! You taught me that pacifism was strength, not weakness. But you were wrong, Azar -- wrong! I feel my father's evil growing within me and I am frightened by my new thoughts. Thoughts of death! Thoughts of decay! Thoughts of power! And I am frightened by these thoughts not because I have them...but because I relish them!"

She couldn't hold back her tears anymore. "Help me, Azar," she begged. "I desperately wish to stand beside my friends at their moment of need, yet because of what I am becoming, I cannot. Give me comfort, Azar, or damn me to hell. I cannot abide what I have become!

Silence was her only answer, aside from the rumble of thunder. Or was that her father's laughter? She kept trying, however. She was going to remain here for quite some time until she felt in control of herself enough to return to Fandom.


[ooc: NFB, NFI, warnings for melodramtic canon. I tone it down, people. I TONE IT DOWN.]
trigons_child: (Comic Scan: Sad)
Raven had been struggling to hold herself together for the past few days. It had been hard for her to deal with people leaving, Dinah and Hoshi and Joan most of all. But Didi hadn't just left, she was gone, and Jono was in so much pain. She'd pushed aside her own grief to be there for him, taking her charge from Didi very seriously, watching over him and making sure he knew he was not alone. She worried though about making him feel smothered, so she was glad take time to rest and to allow Ben or someone else to make certain Jono was all right.

Meeting her new little sibling Kon at the welcome picnic had been interesting, particularly since he was from a world similar to hers and knew of a Raven who was a hero. Through and through, he had said, and after what she had been told by someone else from her future about how she was evil, it had been a great relief.

But one more newcomer had spoiled that pleasure. Zatanna. The woman who had proclaimed her evil and made the Justice League turn its back on her. The one who led them to stop the ritual that would have barred Trigon's way into this world. Whose actions led to Arella sacrificing herself to hold Trigon back. Who said Raven had enough darkness in her to break this plane.

She'd contained her anger -- just barely -- even as some small part of her struggled to accept that this Zatanna was not the same as the one she knew. But that allowed all her grief and pain to come rushing out now, everything from Arella's loss to her soul being ravaged as Fandom had been devoured by the void to Andy and his brother who seemed to hate her to Karla to people going away to Didi and Jono to Zatanna. She'd held everything in too long, and now it all came crashing down on her, and all she could do was huddle on her bed and cry.


[ooc: Mostly establishly since she's been heading for a minibreakdown for awhile now, but if you want to deal with Emo Girl, feel free to knock. ;) And thanks to Bridgey for pointing out that first tag.]
 
trigons_child: (Comic Scan: Sad)
Raven had been struggling to hold herself together for the past few days. It had been hard for her to deal with people leaving, Dinah and Hoshi and Joan most of all. But Didi hadn't just left, she was gone, and Jono was in so much pain. She'd pushed aside her own grief to be there for him, taking her charge from Didi very seriously, watching over him and making sure he knew he was not alone. She worried though about making him feel smothered, so she was glad take time to rest and to allow Ben or someone else to make certain Jono was all right.

Meeting her new little sibling Kon at the welcome picnic had been interesting, particularly since he was from a world similar to hers and knew of a Raven who was a hero. Through and through, he had said, and after what she had been told by someone else from her future about how she was evil, it had been a great relief.

But one more newcomer had spoiled that pleasure. Zatanna. The woman who had proclaimed her evil and made the Justice League turn its back on her. The one who led them to stop the ritual that would have barred Trigon's way into this world. Whose actions led to Arella sacrificing herself to hold Trigon back. Who said Raven had enough darkness in her to break this plane.

She'd contained her anger -- just barely -- even as some small part of her struggled to accept that this Zatanna was not the same as the one she knew. But that allowed all her grief and pain to come rushing out now, everything from Arella's loss to her soul being ravaged as Fandom had been devoured by the void to Andy and his brother who seemed to hate her to Karla to people going away to Didi and Jono to Zatanna. She'd held everything in too long, and now it all came crashing down on her, and all she could do was huddle on her bed and cry.


[ooc: Mostly establishly since she's been heading for a minibreakdown for awhile now, but if you want to deal with Emo Girl, feel free to knock. ;) And thanks to Bridgey for pointing out that first tag.]
 
trigons_child: (Hiding face)
After Raven had returned everyone to Fandom (and Sam to New York and Anakin to Rory and Juliet), she just wanted to retreat to her room to grieve. She was moving like a zombie, barely speaking, still almost entirely numb to what had happened. Her father had been forced back into his own dimension, but her mother was gone forever now in order to hold him there. She'd never been allowed to mourn for Azar when her teacher had died, and for a fleeting moment she wished it were the same for Arella so she wouldn't feel this awful pain.

Of course she hadn't been allowed to remain alone, though she refused all offers of food or drink with a silent shake of her head. She just sat on the floor, leaning against her bed, her heart aching.


[OOC: for anyone who stayed with her or anyone who comes by later. I'm around for an hour then off to the airport, but I will check in from there (because that's how I roll) and once I get home. Warning: emo girl is emo, but you know that. ;) ]
trigons_child: (Hiding face)
After Raven had returned everyone to Fandom (and Sam to New York and Anakin to Rory and Juliet), she just wanted to retreat to her room to grieve. She was moving like a zombie, barely speaking, still almost entirely numb to what had happened. Her father had been forced back into his own dimension, but her mother was gone forever now in order to hold him there. She'd never been allowed to mourn for Azar when her teacher had died, and for a fleeting moment she wished it were the same for Arella so she wouldn't feel this awful pain.

Of course she hadn't been allowed to remain alone, though she refused all offers of food or drink with a silent shake of her head. She just sat on the floor, leaning against her bed, her heart aching.


[OOC: for anyone who stayed with her or anyone who comes by later. I'm around for an hour then off to the airport, but I will check in from there (because that's how I roll) and once I get home. Warning: emo girl is emo, but you know that. ;) ]
trigons_child: (Meditating)
Raven's evening had gone from good to bad quickly. First there had been snuggling with Andy and watching TV, but not long after she had met a boy who knew who she was...who her father was...and who claimed she had attacked her friends in the future. Her heart raced as she tried to reign in her fear and distress before it overwhelmed her. The boy wasn't necessarily from the exact same world as her. That Raven might not be her. That fate was not hers. She chose her own path, and that path would never include causing harm to her friends.

She kept telling herself that over and over again, but somehow it wasn't making her feel any better. (It didn't help that she was picking up on massive amounts of emo nearby, but she was too distressed to investigate.)


[Mostly establishy, but the door is knockable if someone wants to brave the emo. ;) ]
trigons_child: (Meditating)
Raven's evening had gone from good to bad quickly. First there had been snuggling with Andy and watching TV, but not long after she had met a boy who knew who she was...who her father was...and who claimed she had attacked her friends in the future. Her heart raced as she tried to reign in her fear and distress before it overwhelmed her. The boy wasn't necessarily from the exact same world as her. That Raven might not be her. That fate was not hers. She chose her own path, and that path would never include causing harm to her friends.

She kept telling herself that over and over again, but somehow it wasn't making her feel any better. (It didn't help that she was picking up on massive amounts of emo nearby, but she was too distressed to investigate.)


[Mostly establishy, but the door is knockable if someone wants to brave the emo. ;) ]
trigons_child: (Trying not to cry)
After Raven had fled from Liir when he and the others had begun to awaken, she hadn't known where to go. She was drawn first to the place Max had taken her in the other Fandom -- 29 Chimera Court -- and for a moment she was filled with rage and despair again, along with the urge to tear the building down with her bare hands. But it was obvious it was someone else's home now, so she fled again, teleporting herself to the place where she had died.

There was nothing to mark the place, of course, but she just knew. Kneeling, she touched her hand to the ground. She held no blame for Anakin for striking her down; he had to, or she might have killed him and others in the dorms. She had lost control, like Azar had always warned her could happen. Her teacher had only done what he had to do to stop her.

It would be easier if she could just say it was her other self who was responsible, but it had been she who lost control. She had used her gifts against Tahiri, and then the vampires who tried to attack her and Anakin. She had taken pleasure from pain -- both giving and receiving. She was her father's daughter.

Raven screamed, unable to contain the raging emotions she was trying to keep inside herself, then covered her face in her hands, shaking with silent sobs.


[ooc: Technically open, but she is not likely to talk to anyone she doesn't know, and she's in a verrry bad place. Because I am cruel, and because you cannot spell demon without "emo." If anyone body is looking for her, she's probably sending up an unintentional beacon.]
trigons_child: (Trying not to cry)
After Raven had fled from Liir when he and the others had begun to awaken, she hadn't known where to go. She was drawn first to the place Max had taken her in the other Fandom -- 29 Chimera Court -- and for a moment she was filled with rage and despair again, along with the urge to tear the building down with her bare hands. But it was obvious it was someone else's home now, so she fled again, teleporting herself to the place where she had died.

There was nothing to mark the place, of course, but she just knew. Kneeling, she touched her hand to the ground. She held no blame for Anakin for striking her down; he had to, or she might have killed him and others in the dorms. She had lost control, like Azar had always warned her could happen. Her teacher had only done what he had to do to stop her.

It would be easier if she could just say it was her other self who was responsible, but it had been she who lost control. She had used her gifts against Tahiri, and then the vampires who tried to attack her and Anakin. She had taken pleasure from pain -- both giving and receiving. She was her father's daughter.

Raven screamed, unable to contain the raging emotions she was trying to keep inside herself, then covered her face in her hands, shaking with silent sobs.


[ooc: Technically open, but she is not likely to talk to anyone she doesn't know, and she's in a verrry bad place. Because I am cruel, and because you cannot spell demon without "emo." If anyone body is looking for her, she's probably sending up an unintentional beacon.]
trigons_child: (Writing)
Raven was not having a good day.

Her Buddy Movie class had not been too terrible, though she was not fond of climbing, and had used her powers to help her and Hurley reach their goal. Criminal Justice was a little frustrating because if it were a real crime she was convinced she would be able to sense who was lying. And the Art of Seduction -- that class was just frightening, even more so today. She would not be able to scrub the images of Professor Bond and his hip thrusts from her mind for some time.

And then there was Chuck. She'd sensed the discomfort of his hangover as she'd passed his room and tried to heal him, but in the process she experienced his intoxication herself, and then acted foolishly. Recklessly. And then the pleasant feelings had faded and left her feeling sad and bitter about not being allowed to experience pleasure or joy or love. Chuck had seemed understanding, but she had fled back to her room before she could act more the fool.

She tried to settle into a meditative trance, but it was difficult. Her mind was churning with longings for what she knew she could not have. She could not even allow herself to cry, for sorrow was as forbidden as joy. It wasn't fair that she could so easily heal the bodies and minds of others, but not her own. Doubt began to creep into her mind. Perhaps Azar was wrong, and denying her emotions was not necessary to prevent her father from corrupting her. How could pleasure and joy be used against her?

She could not find peace this evening, but she looked forward to her lessons tomorrow with Professor Skywalker. Hopefully he could help her start to ease her distress.


[Linkdroppy/establishy]
trigons_child: (Writing)
Raven was not having a good day.

Her Buddy Movie class had not been too terrible, though she was not fond of climbing, and had used her powers to help her and Hurley reach their goal. Criminal Justice was a little frustrating because if it were a real crime she was convinced she would be able to sense who was lying. And the Art of Seduction -- that class was just frightening, even more so today. She would not be able to scrub the images of Professor Bond and his hip thrusts from her mind for some time.

And then there was Chuck. She'd sensed the discomfort of his hangover as she'd passed his room and tried to heal him, but in the process she experienced his intoxication herself, and then acted foolishly. Recklessly. And then the pleasant feelings had faded and left her feeling sad and bitter about not being allowed to experience pleasure or joy or love. Chuck had seemed understanding, but she had fled back to her room before she could act more the fool.

She tried to settle into a meditative trance, but it was difficult. Her mind was churning with longings for what she knew she could not have. She could not even allow herself to cry, for sorrow was as forbidden as joy. It wasn't fair that she could so easily heal the bodies and minds of others, but not her own. Doubt began to creep into her mind. Perhaps Azar was wrong, and denying her emotions was not necessary to prevent her father from corrupting her. How could pleasure and joy be used against her?

She could not find peace this evening, but she looked forward to her lessons tomorrow with Professor Skywalker. Hopefully he could help her start to ease her distress.


[Linkdroppy/establishy]

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Raven

March 2016

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